Peanut Butter Banana Toast with a Twist

peanut butter banana toast — I tried.

  • sliced ripe bananas
  • slice of bread
  • generous (or not so?) amount of peanut butter
  • sprinkle of courage
  • dash of hope

Let me be honest and straightforward – I am not fan of peanut butter and I totally have no idea why I created this afternoon snack. I just decided to slice up some ripe bananas and oh so generously cover my bread with a hefty amount of peanut butter and shove it inside the oven toaster – I know, in the state of the world right now, mindless snacking should be the least of my concerns.

After five minutes, the timer ran out and ceremoniously “ting-ed”. The result is a bit oily, a bit soggy, a bit crunchy peanut butter banana toast. It definitely isn’t the best I’ve had but honestly, it’s pretty decent and I don’t hate it all. What I hate is this uneasy feeling of burnout that looms over me. It keeps me feeling tired and spent – as early as I open my eyes before my alarm starts at 8:01, and even as I gobble down this greasy peanut butter banana toast. It’s the feeling of being lost and sad, and everything in between its deep dark void. That’s what I hate.

But even in this state, I know better, or at least I think I do. So I try, and I fight. I live to see another day battling all these uncertainties. Because I am a jedi equipped with my lightsaber (gifts) and the unlimited Force, even if all I get to save is my own little world. It’s not heroic, and I may not bring balance to the galaxy as it so needs right now but these everyday fights are not as easy as getting myself some peanut butter banana toast. And yet, trying to get myself back up again and maybe helping somebody on my way sure is worth trying.

There goes.

I hope you find the perfect peanut butter banana toast you’re looking for.