gazing at lightbulbs

It was a humid afternoon, sweltering by anyone’s standards. The room was filled with people grouped in their usual places, wrapped in the world of their collective making. The whole space was filled with noise, of thoughts rummaging through everyone’s head spoken clearly aloud.

She was looking straight into his expressive eyes – a look he answered fiercely back as their whole world watched on. Locked in the moment, in their complete perfect silence, everything else was background noise. In the space between, in the silence undisturbed, in the complete absence of words – they felt, they knew. It was theirs for the taking.

Trying to hold his strong gaze, a faint smile appeared on her lips. As quick as a blink, they were snapped back to reality – in acceptance, in surrender.

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Replay Or Rewind

If you had a chance for a “do-over” in life, what would you do differently?

At the young age of 6, I got tested and was said to be ‘gifted’ by a respectable doctor from a research facility here in the Philippines. My grandparents who were living with me during that time deemed it necessary to hone the talent that I was given with. Unlike most children my age, I did not get to experience the typical childhood life outside of the house – I did not get to play physical games with peers, ride around town on my bike, or simply have playmates. Heck, my childhood best friend is my classmate who I competed with for gold medals during quiz bees and school competitions. I was a total nerd but it wasn’t because my grandparents forced me to study or hindered me from a normal childhood life – it was because as early as 7 years old, I already liked to rise up to the challenges presented to me and they made it seem like finishing at the top of the class was a feat.

Come the end of my high school life, when we were all deciding what course to take that’ll help shape our future. I wanted to do something related to Communication Arts but everyone was telling me that I’d throw away my gifts if I pursue it. I ended up going for a ‘tough’ choice, a course everyone thinks is challenging for most, a degree worth pursuing they say – Electronics and Communication Engineering. Up to now, I don’t know what people should really be doing given this degree.

I got through engineering school even if I didn’t like it in the first place, going through each class thinking that it’s only a challenge to conquer, I looked at complex circuits as riddles to be solved. Then right after graduation, I took the board examination and passed the ultimate test. It made me proud but I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t even satisfied. And yet, my dad was ecstatic and proud of his little girl who has just become a licensed engineer. I will never forget the look on his face. For that alone, if I were given another chance, I still would have taken the degree. Even if it leads me to where I am right now – a place full of confusion.

Well, if I am to go through that again, what’s the whole point of the post? What’s something that I would “do-over” if given a chance to hit the rewind button? There’s only one thing that I could actually think of: I’d let myself experience failure. I will not be scared to lose, to fall down, and fall right flat on my face. It took me 25 years to realize that experiencing failures and rising on your feet again is its own reward and would only make success a bit sweeter. I know, there’s no going back in time, so instead of having to “do-over”, I will let this be a reminder as I continue to shape my future and face the hurdles of fate: winning isn’t everything and there’s no such thing as failures, only lessons learned. 😉

Today, V knows the difference of being ‘good’ and being happy.


I would like to thank Think Talk for nominating for the Liebster Blogger Award and for providing a beautiful set of questions which inspired me to write this post. I feel deeply honored knowing that someone out there appreciates the things I write.

at twenty five.

They called it quarter life crisis,
an existential dilemma one cannot escape.
A phase one simply goes through,
forget even as the worlds keeps on spinning.
A period of confusion and epiphany,
a small hurdle in the long run of fate.
Is this the face of failure or shot in success –
oh such feeling of youth, full of unrest.

In celebration of Bad Poetry Day (18th August), I made a little poem that talks about the ‘bad’ phase one goes through at 25.

MAC: cheap steals and freebies

I consider myself frugal when it comes to shopping for make-up because honestly, I find myself too lazy most of the time to use it. And when I do buy make-up, I tend to buy what I believe is a good quality brand. So when I see some good deals on the brand(s) I like, I don’t quite hesitate on doing the purchase and just last July 30 (#NationalLipstickDay) as promoted in Lazada, I did not double think on getting the mini trio lipstick of my favorite shades that came with some surprisingly good freebies along with it.

One of the brands I trust and my go-to brand is MAC mostly because I believe that they have some decent high-quality products that justifies its price, and also because I really am a sucker for black and classy looking branding. So when I saw their ad (I know, I know, it’s targeted ads) for their #NationalLipstickDay sale, I hurriedly click on that add to cart button even if most people think that we would have no use for lipsticks while locked down in a pandemic stricken country.

Let me share with you my #NationalLipstickDay haul from MAC and Lazada:


I bought the mini trio lipstick in the shades Ruby Woo, Velvet Teddy, and Mocha for only about $32 USD, and for MAC prices here in Southeast Asia that’s already a steal. I opted for this color combination because the Velvet Teddy (deep-tone beige) is my favorite everyday lipstick. Velvet Teddy really suits my skin color and it’s such a good MLBB (my lips but better) matte pick that isn’t drying to the lips. The other color that made me decide to purchase the set is the Ruby Woo. It’s MAC’s best-selling red lipstick of all time and there’s no question why – dubbed as ‘very matte vivid blue-red’ that seems to be universally flattering. Last but not the least is MAC’s Mocha, a peachy yellow-brown lipstick in satin finish. I don’t really do a lot of satin because I prefer make-up in matte formula, but I myself was surprised when I put on Mocha and actually liked it. Initially, I was thinking of saving it to give as a gift.

L to R: Mocha, Ruby Woo, Velvet Teddy

The sale trio on its own is already a super steal but MAC and Lazada’s #NationalLipstickDay promo got even better when they decided to throw in the top-selling MAC Maker Lipstick @mainedcm in a plush gold packaging FOR FREE. I was so surprised they gave it away for free when it was always sold out when it was just released. The shade is a plum-red matte, in total opposite of the MAC Maker’s first @mainedcm which was a good nude lipstick that suits the Filipino skin tone.

And as if a free full size best-selling lipstick is not enough, they also threw in a cute notebook style water bottle and cute stickers to customize your lipsticks with.

MAC #NationalLipstickDay freebies

I know, given the pandemic and the necessity to wear face masks outside, lipstick purchases seem to be illogical but I figured these little gems are good for another year or more if kept well. And well, why the hell not? A woman can choose to fix herself up at home… for herself, just because she wants to.

ruby woo

the window to her soul –
a peek in the blazing fire
ignites a warmth within,
shows wonder, laughter, sorrow,
brings forth your shivers.
a pale cover of sensation,
the right touch turns vermilion.
lacquer in
ruby woo, scarlet,
a real damsel’s weapon.
the dark, alluring simper,
her greatest poison.


Inspired by my recent MAC haul including the iconic Ruby Woo matte lipstick. Every time I wear the Ruby Woo, I feel like a totally different woman with oozing confidence. Was actually writing a blog post about the recent purchase but it seems that I’m having problems uploading pictures due to the fluctuating internet connection. Let me know your thoughts! 🙂

inside a closed room

A faint light is trying to seep in through the curtains draped with flower patterns of blue and green. The air felt damp – it has been drizzling all night again. Her room sets a scene of a melancholic view – the way the light touches the deep blue wall, the feeling of sadness eminent in the space. Staring at the ceiling, she took a deep breath, what came out was a heavy sigh. Then another.

“Life”, she grumbled to herself. It’s a start of a new day and she knows better than to fill it with worries and the problems of yesterday. She knows better, yes. But the bed is holding on to her, cradling her in the stream of her emotions.

She took another deep breath. 1…2… inhale. 1…2… She let it all out. A series of more focused breathing that made her seem like trapped in a trance if anyone sees her. In her mind, that’s all there is to it – the flow of the air through her nose, her core, her peace. A much needed serenity. Her escape from the harsh toll of reality.

Hurried knocks on the door broke her meditation. It brought her back to the world in a snap. Like a switch that clicked, she gathered up all the courage to face the day that she could muster, all while quickly fixing her hair in a tight bun. Two more banging on the door as she grab hold of the handle.

She knows exactly who is waiting impatiently on the other side of the door – the reason for her fight, the purpose of her being. She looked down and saw the dark brown eyes that resembles hers, the soft warm cheek against the pale weather, the grin that keeps her world spinning. “Mom, I want pancakes”, the little boy demanded.


Tried to write a bit of a short fictional piece inspired by the The Mindful Modus’ Beginners Guide to Mindfulness, and a short chat with my mom after not being able to talk to her for a few weeks.

New Horizons on New Normal.

If you’re on social media, I’m pretty sure you have encountered a couple of picture or stories of cute animal characters from your peers, friends, and even celebrities you follow. Released on March, just about when quarantine started on most countries, Animal Crossing: New Horizons took the world by storm. It’s an addition to the Animal Crossing franchise from Nintendo, but this latest game caters to their newly portable console, the Nintendo Switch and its Lite variant. Nintendo sales have garnered an all time high during this period and this game is one of the reasons why.

The Animal Crossing: New Horizons was surrounded by so much hype mainly due to the reason that it has been eight years since the last game in the franchise was introduced, and that it offers an endless possibility in a controlled and limited life in quarantine. The addition boasts of features that gamers are excited about from autosaves to remote island life. Here are some of the reasons why everyone took on the Dodo Airline Ride:

  • Remote island life – On the start of the game, you are being ushered from the airport to a remote island of your choosing where you can get to customize basically everything as you progress in the game, opposed to the previous games where it was set on city life. This basically is a good selling point especially the timing of the game’s release when everyone was stuck in their houses. It’s a virtual island life getaway!
  • Character customizationRight from the start, you’ll be given the freedom to design how your character would look like and can change it, even your clothes, at any point in the game too.
  • Create your own tools – To move forward in your deserted island, tools are to be made and yes, you get to create your own and customize them as well. From basic tools such as flimsy shovels to gold decorations – the game boasts of a wide variety of DIY recipes that players will encounter and make.
  • Autosave – Unlike in the previous Animal Crossing games, there are certain times in this latest addition that it’s being saved automatically.
  • Nook Miles Rewards Program – Basically, you’ll be rewarded for uhm… doing anything. Just kidding! But yes, that’s more like the gist of it – there’s built-in goals in this program that you’ll achieve just by simply playing the game as it is. No puzzles, no hard thinking, no confusion – just play the game as you like, in your own pace, and you’ll get rewards. A game that keeps on giving.
  • Multiplayer ability – Okay, we’re all stuck at home when the game was released, and as social creatures we somehow look for interactions – what a fun way to immerse yourself in a game where you can showcase your creativity to your friends and even strangers by visiting each other’s islands, sharing custom patterns that you have created, make trades like our ancestors did before (barter system), or create virtual adventure relay games. I even had an Animal Crossing date with my boyfriend and had a virtual catch-up with a friend!
  • Updates – since March, a number of updates have rolled on. Usually, there’s one for every weather change (yes, you can have your Sakura moment, and even your Winter Wonderland in the game). There are also other seasonal updates such as the June wedding celebration. And some updates to add gameplay and characters: you can now go ahead and swim in the ocean in your nice wetsuit, or meet Redd, who’s being dubbed as the sly fox.

Animal Crossing: New Horizons paved a way for us escape the harsh reality that we get to face everyday. Even with the above stated features, I believe that the main selling point of the game was the open-ended style and the freedom of the players to take control of their own world – an option you don’t really get to enjoy in real life. Endless possibilities, escape from the pandemic, and witty animal friends – I mean what’s not to like?


I’m planning on doing a giveaway of my stuff and bells as I plan to start my island from scratch. If you want to join or simply looking for an item or colorway of an item, let me know in the comment below. 🙂

words enchanting


Skulls and roses,
the heart and the mind,
Thoughts and emotions,
butterflies and bones;
each are alike,
yet each seems to oppose.
*
Through rise and fall,
of celestial orbs;
Through the constant tick and tock
of mechanical clocks;
Through doubts and indecision,
suddenly,
a magical moment found.
*
Years passed,
caged in an enchanted sleep;
Yet in this magical night,
and the splendor of words,
ignites the sleeping beas
t


The notebook in the photo was what I once called as my perfect notebook the moment I laid my eyes on it. I can’t seem to find the courage to start writing on it since it was given to me as a gift. I hold it with so much reverie that I think that my thoughts and my emotions aren’t worthy enough for the blank pages it beholds. In fact, I even searched and bought for a new one. Yet, just only last night, this magical moment happened, and I was finally able to gather up the confidence that I need to start devouring the pages and fill it with my own wonder.


one of those nights

I stare at the keys, taunting me
illuminating blue light, dark thoughts
it’s crazy how these feelings do.
Raw, unfiltered, unmasked
letting it all go in heavy, little presses.
Where to start, how to continue?
Ten thousand more hours I need,
to make little pieces that count.
Trying times, jaded mind,
the white canvas, blank lines
my bunker underneath this mess.
A scream of plea, a cry for help,
created a world to keep me safe.


what the mirror showed

She stared at the mirror, familiarizing her every feature. Trying to hold on to her own identity, the one unstained, untouched by him.

Her eyes – dark as her soul, outlined by a regal thin wall of blue as he said. Her nose – how often does he pinch it when in a playful mood. Her lips – how his brushed it softly, passionately, intensely. Her hair – he has always loved the wild, long curves of her hair. Has always admired how it falls gracefully right down her shoulders and chest.


She stared at the mirror, she can only see traces of him. Traces he left behind when he shut the door. Traces of him all over her body. How badly does she want to take all of him out of her; out of her body, out of her mind, out of her life.


She stared at the mirror.


In her eyes, she see fire. A fire set on her soul. A fire that burns brightly, so bright he could not even touch the surface. A fire so pure, no remnants of him can be found.


She stared at the mirror. Closed her eyes, took hold of her hair. Snip. Snip. Snip. The wild long curves falling recklessly on the ground. Snip. Snip. Snip.

She stared at the mirror. She saw herself.